Pure Bliss Read online

  Serena’s lovely face hardened, losing the pseudo sympathy of before. “I’m dating him now. I’m warning you to stay away from him.”

  Hope sighed and actually felt a little bad for the brunette goddess. The fact that she called what she and James were doing dating meant she didn’t understand James at all. James Glen didn’t date. He hooked up, and he didn’t tend to do it for very long. Though usually he made it all very clear, from what Logan had told her. James was famous for the speech he gave before he slept with a woman.

  She turned as quickly as she could, hoping not to get humiliated again. That was when she saw him.

  A ghost from her past. Her heart nearly stopped in her chest because it couldn’t be him. Not him.

  It was just a single glance. Golden hair and a lanky, lean build. Piercing gray eyes. Sensual lips. He stood just outside the Trading Post, leaning against the huge evergreen that dominated the street. He was dressed in loose clothes and an open-necked shirt that showed off the beginnings of a cut torso. He was heartbreakingly gorgeous and evil beyond compare.

  Her heart froze. She blinked, and he was gone as though he’d never been there in the first place.

  And he couldn’t have been. There was no way she’d seen what she thought she’d seen. No way he was here. It was a trick of her mind since that one phone call had sent her reeling back into the misery of ten years before. She could still hear it. A single sentence. “Hello, love.” And he’d hung up. And her world had turned upside down.

  “I’m just warning you, Hope,” Serena said, her bratty voice sounding far away. Hope didn’t look back. She simply stared at the place where the ghost had stood, a little smile on his face as he’d watched her. After a moment, Hope heard the click-clack of Serena’s heels on the pavement as she walked off to meet her friends. Serena and her jealousy didn’t mean a damn thing now.

  Only one thing mattered. Christian Grady.

  He couldn’t have been standing in front of the Trading Post. Hope rushed down the street, but she saw nothing beyond the tourists and the women from the Rep Theater walking toward the diner. She hadn’t seen Christian, and she was sure of it.

  Because she’d killed him. She’d killed him, and he wasn’t coming back.

  Chapter Two

  One week later

  James hung up the phone with a frustrated sigh. According to Cam, Hope had ditched work this morning.

  Hope was trying her damnedest to avoid him. That was what she was doing. She’d told Cam she had an emergency, but James had to wonder if Cam wasn’t covering for her.

  He’d spent a whole week pursuing that girl, and she was proving to be one slippery customer. He’d gone so far as to ask her out, giving her his smoothest smile and a full dose of cowboy charm. She’d turned a nice shade of green and had practically run out of Trio, leaving her garden salad behind and her bill unpaid.

  She owed him five dollars and fifty cents. And a whole lot of explanations. Logan was right. Something was wrong, but either no one knew or no one was talking. Hope sure as hell wasn’t talking. She’d started turning and walking the other way every time she saw him coming.

  And she didn’t look at him anymore.

  It was damn frustrating. Especially since he wasn’t even sure why he was pursuing her anymore. The need to fulfill his promise to Logan was still in there, but it was more than that. Almost immediately after he’d decided to take his pledge to Logan seriously, he’d started to think.

  The reason he’d stayed away from Hope was because he couldn’t offer her anything past a couple of nights in bed. He couldn’t offer any woman much more than that. After his father had died, it was all he could do just to keep the ranch from going into bankruptcy. When he’d finally realized there was no way to do it on his own, he’d gone to Stef, who’d put him in touch with a rancher friend of his named Jack Barnes. Barnes had taught him how a small ranch could thrive during a recession and introduced him to Trev McNamara.

  The Circle G was on solid ground, and he wasn’t alone. With the influx of cash Trev brought, he’d been able to hire some new hands. For the first time in five years, he just might be able to have a personal life. He wasn’t getting any younger. Maybe it was time to see about settling down.

  He wanted Hope. But apparently he’d fucked that up.

  James walked out onto the porch, needing to catch a breath. He thought better outside. The early afternoon sun bathed the yard in light. It was starting to warm up, but they were beginning the quick slide into winter. It was already chilly at night and in the early part of the morning. Soon his fields would be covered in snow, and he would have to hunker down and survive until spring.

  It got damn cold in Colorado during the winter. A man needed someone who could warm him up.

  James growled and slapped his hand on the railing. His cell trilled. Finally Stef had managed to pay someone enough money to fix whatever the hell the Farley Brothers had done to their cell tower. It had been months. He glanced down and grimaced. Serena. Maybe he could pay the Farley Brothers to do it again. Serena was proving to be a little more tenacious than expected. He’d pursued her because she had always flirted with him. It didn’t hurt that she was easy on the eyes. She was deeply interested in her work and had told him flat out she just wanted to have a good time in bed. Then she’d started calling him.

  The cell continued to ring. He ignored it. He would have to go and talk to her. Let her down easy. He’d told her he didn’t want a relationship. He’d explained that he was only interested in sex, and she’d agreed. He would have to talk to her again, but now wasn’t the time. Now he had to find Hope and pin her down.

  Pin her down. Spread her out. Penetrate her with his cock. Yeah, that might be just the way to get her to talk. After she’d come five or six times, she might be willing to start talking to him.

  “I sincerely hope I’m not the one who has you in such a bad mood.” Bo O’Malley walked out of the main house. Bo was Trev’s partner. They shared a wife.

  James had to check himself, letting go of his anger. There was still a part of him that resented Bo. The big, blond cowboy had an easy smile and a manner that would help him fit in nicely on the ranch and in Bliss, but James hadn’t gotten close to him. It wasn’t fair, and he would get over it.

  “Is old Red still giving you hell?” Bo asked, gesturing toward the barn.

  Red was a horse he was trying to break. Big and powerful, the gelding would make a perfect ranch horse if he wasn’t such a stubborn son of a bitch. Just yesterday, the horse had tossed James right into the dirt. His backside still ached. “He gives everyone hell.”

  Bo grinned. “I’ve worked around horses all my life, and I won’t go near that one. That one is a mean son of a bitch. I bet he came out of his momma with an attitude problem. How did you end up with him?”

  James rolled his eyes. “Because I’m a dumb-ass and a cheapskate. Now I’m going to have to either eat the money and buy another horse or even worse, admit to Max Harper that I can’t break Red to a saddle.”

  “Max is the horse trainer? The one everyone claims is the meanest man in town?”

  James laughed. “Max isn’t mean. Max is an intolerant, impatient son of a bitch, but he doesn’t have a mean bone in his body. I like Max, but he charges through the damn roof, and he will never let me hear the end of it. No. I am going to break that horse.”

  “Not if he breaks you first,” Bo said, palming his keys. “Can you look in on Beth while I’m gone? I shouldn’t be too long.”

  “What’s wrong with Beth? And where’s Trev?” He hadn’t seen his partner this morning. If something was wrong with his wife, Trev would be climbing the walls. He was crazy about his wife. Beth McNamara-O’Malley was a sweet little thing. And she was almost intimidating when it came to home improvement. She was planning to completely renovate the guest house for her family. Beth was planning a second floor and an expansion that would rival the main house.

  God, he’d had to sell half his land j
ust to keep afloat. It wasn’t just Glen land anymore. It was McNamara land, too. His father would hate him for that.

  Bo smiled, a secret little grin. “She’s all right. She’s perfect, actually. She’s just puking her guts out, but apparently that’s to be expected when she’s…well, expecting.”

  James felt his eyes go wide. “Beth is pregnant?”

  There must be something in the damn water. Everyone was pregnant lately. Rachel Harper had a baby. Callie had given birth to twins. And now Beth. Bliss was getting damn full of babies. And it didn’t freak him out the way it should. He kind of liked babies. He really liked the idea of a family.

  He was getting fucking old.

  Bo’s grin split his face and made the blond man look like a teenager. “Trev and I forced her to pee on a stick last night. Now she has to stay away from paint fumes and all sorts of things. She’s real depressed about that. She loves the guesthouse, though. She says she can expand it without inhaling a single fume that might hurt the baby.”

  Beth had all sorts of plans for beautifying the ranch. Now those plans would include a nursery. Something weird twisted in his gut at the idea of babies running around the ranch. They wouldn’t be his. The world kept moving on, and James just stayed in one place.

  Why was he staying away from Hope when he wanted her? Was he really going to let his life slip by because he wasn’t sure he could care for a woman on his own? He could still hear his fathers joking with each other that the ranch was a second wife, that between the ranch and a woman, no single man would be able to handle them both. The ranch took so damn much time. Every girl he’d tried to seriously date had walked away because he couldn’t treat them right. He’d stopped trying. It had been different when Noah was around. Maybe he needed to be stronger. Maybe he needed to figure out a way to have the family he wanted. The one-night stands were getting old.

  Of course, he might be shit out of luck. Hope wouldn’t stay in the same room with him anymore. Had he been wrong about her? He’d been so sure she was interested, but maybe she’d figured out he wasn’t a great catch.

  “I’m headed into town. Trev went to a meeting in Alamosa, so it looks like I’m on saltine duty.” Bo didn’t look like a man who minded. James didn’t bother to ask if Bo was disturbed by the fact that the baby in Beth’s belly could be his or Trev’s. It wouldn’t have bothered James. It would have been his kid no matter what.

  James nodded as Bo took off toward some future he was reaching for. James stood in the drive and wondered if he even had a future.

  * * * *

  Hope looked up into the newcomer’s eyes and wondered if the universe just hated her. He was gorgeous. Six and a half feet of pure sin walking in a pair of Levi’s. He had dark hair and a perfect face. He was sober.

  That last part was meaningful to Hope—unfortunately, he was also married.

  She sighed and decided it was for the best. She shouldn’t meet the future father of her children at an AA meeting. “You said your name was Trev?”

  He’d introduced himself to the group for the first time this morning. She’d been deeply affected by his story. Trev had lost everything to his disease. He’d had a promising career, money, everything a person could want, and he’d thrown it all away. Of course, the fact that he was here meant he knew how to fight his way back. She admired the hell out of that. She supposed he was from Alamosa. Most of the group was. She was the only idiot alcoholic who had to drive in from Bliss.

  She might be the only alcoholic in Bliss. Though she loved the town, its inhabitants were oddly perfect for all their troubles. She doubted Max Harper, for all his rage issues, had ever put himself in a hospital because he just had to find the bottom of a bottle. She was pretty sure that even Mel could have the occasional beer without spiraling into a well of self-hatred.

  Of course, she also bet neither of the men had seen what she had seen.

  “Yes. It’s Trev. And you’re Hope, right? Is that a fake name? It’s okay if it is. Trev is really my name. I can’t exactly fake it, you know.”

  She didn’t, but it didn’t matter. “My name is really Hope. Listen, I was moved by your story. I’m glad I came in today. It’s been a hard week.”

  Trev took a long drink of his coffee. He’d walked in with a travel mug of coffee and had been refilling it every half an hour or so. The man seemed to like his coffee. “What’s been rough?”

  What hadn’t been? And James Glen wasn’t making it easier. He seemed to be taking up where Logan had left off. She’d thought when Logan had ridden off with Wolf that she could hide what was going on. But no, James “too hot for any one woman to handle” Glen was suddenly very interested in how she was doing. Logan had set an attack dog on her. But she wasn’t about to tell Trev that. She had plenty of other crappy things happening. “Well, my boss just had twins a few weeks ago. He didn’t have them. His wife did, but we only have one deputy now, so I’m working a lot. My car is nearly dead. It’s on its last legs. I’ll be surprised if I make it home. Oh, and there was a fire in the diner. I live over the diner. My apartment is now unlivable. I’m homeless. Yay!”

  Trev’s lips quirked up. “I can see where it’s been a bad week. You need a place to stay?”

  Addicts stuck together. It almost brought a tear to her eye. “Oh, I’ll be fine. I live in a small town. I’ll find a place to stay.”

  Stella had given her the bad news earlier today. It was why she’d run here. She’d basically packed up her Corolla with everything that wasn’t smoke damaged and driven straight to the nearest AA meeting after teaching Cam how to work the dispatch. Not that there was anyone to dispatch. Cam was the only one working. And there was the fact that she was seeing ghosts. She was seeing ghosts everywhere. Since that day Serena had ambushed her, she thought she saw Christian more and more often. She would catch a glimpse out of the corner of her eye only to turn and realize it was nothing.

  She shook her head, trying to rid herself of the thought.

  She had no idea where she was going to stay. Her boss lived in a tiny cabin with his wife, twins, and Zane Hollister. Zane alone could take up all the space. Logan was gone. Cam was in the same situation as Nate. The remaining deputy lived with his girlfriend and best friend.

  She was screwed. Well, she hadn’t been screwed in years, and that was part of her problem.

  “Are you sure? I have a big place. My wife hasn’t made a lot of friends. She’s a sweetheart. She’s also pregnant, so you would have to deal with that.”

  Everyone was pregnant in Bliss. It only made sense that it would transfer outward to Alamosa and Del Norte. Everyone was starting families and moving forward in their lives, and all she seemed capable of doing was staring at James Glen. God, why was she so attracted to a man-whore? He was a man-whore. There was no other way to describe him. He slept with all the freaking ski bunnies who checked into the Elk Creek Lodge. He slept with anyone who didn’t need more than one or two nights with him.

  She needed a drink. It reminded her of the fact that she hadn’t eaten all day. That was how she used to play. No food. Nothing to mitigate the effects of the alcohol. “How’s the coffee?”

  Trev smiled. “It’s crap. And it does its job.” He poured her some coffee into a little Styrofoam cup. “You did right, you know. Coming here. When the pressure builds, you gotta get in here. You gotta talk about it. Who’s your sponsor?”

  She sniffled. Kate had moved on, too. “She left a couple of months back. She moved to California. I’ve only been here about a year. I guess I’m a little lost without her. I could call, but it’s not the same.”

  Trev got one of the napkins on the table and quickly wrote out a number. He passed it to her. “You need to find another sponsor. I know I can’t be your official sponsor because I’m a guy, but I can still listen. I’ve been sober for one thousand seventy days. I know we’re supposed to take it one day at a time, but I fully believe I won’t take another drink for the rest of my life. I won’t drink or do a drug. I lov
e something more than myself, more than any high. If you need me, I’ll be there for you. Please call me. I like to be needed.”

  Yes, what she needed was a gorgeous god to tell her troubles to. It was hard to look at Trev and see addict. He was one of those people the universe had blessed with amazing looks and charm. And yet, despite all of that, he was here with the rest of them. Maybe everyone had a well of sadness lurking no matter how perfect their lives seemed. She took the number. “Thank you. I appreciate it. You might not. I might turn out to be the neediest thing you’ve met.”

  He laughed, the sound a deep rumble from his chest. “I doubt that. You’ve never met pro wide receivers. Now that is a needy class of people.”

  He’d mentioned something about football when he’d told his story to the group earlier. She didn’t follow the sport, but it seemed Trev had been popular. She simply pushed the napkin into the pocket of her jeans. It was something to think about. She missed Kate. She couldn’t talk about her past with her friends in Bliss. Keeping it all inside was starting to fester like an untended wound. Maybe if she found someone to talk to again, she would be able to sleep at night. Maybe she was seeing ghosts that weren’t really there. “Thanks.”

  She shuffled out of the small church where Alcoholics Anonymous held daily meetings. It was a sparsely populated part of the country, but there was always someone here.

  Only Nate Wright knew what she’d been through, and even he didn’t know the full extent. It was a burden she was finding it difficult to bear alone even after all these years.

  She got into her piece-of-crap Corolla and wondered how much Gene would charge her to stay at the Movie Motel. If it wasn’t already full. There was a convention coming this week. Psychics and Wiccans were coming out to test the ley lines or something. Hope wasn’t sure about any of it, but she’d overheard Nell and Henry talking about the possibility of finding the doorway to other planes. They were sure there was a doorway located somewhere in Bliss.